Someone Else’s…Emotionally Retarded Boyfriend
Submitted by c.
I met a guy the other night.. He’s a friend of a friend.
He has a girlfriend, but they’re having issues – apparently she’s cheated on him, wants to take a break, and lives too far away. He even said she’s a bitch.
However, instead of breaking it off, or at least going on the break she seems to want, he is still with her.
When I asked him why, he said something about not wanting to let go of such a long relationship – they’ve been together for about 6 months.
So, I don’t think he really wants to be with her anymore.. But he still is. Instead of doing the right thing by both of them (by breaking it off), he decided to go out and try to hook up with other girls to make himself feel better.
Firstly this sucks because even if his girlfriend is a bitch, no-one deserves to be cheated on.
But secondly, I was the girl he chose to try to hook up with. And I couldn’t do it because I knew he had a girlfriend.
He was hot, but I couldn’t kiss him back the way I wanted to.
…Boys suck!
Wilde Thoughts
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”
—Oscar Wilde
SoulPancake presents the above quote and then poses some questions about its veracity. Click the preceding link to check out the discussion, or start your own here.
Slap Heard ‘Round the World
Submitted by meme marie
The conclusion of the K chronicles, finally. When my gals and I were out for my birthday, I saw him again. I walked up to him and the chick he was dancing with, tapped him on the shoulder, he’d just barely registered I was there, and I slapped him across the face. Just like in the movies. I then wandered back to my friends and bewilderedly announced what I’d done, and they got me back to the bathroom to hide/explain myself. hahahaha.
Here’s a picture of him in his full douche-tastic-ness:
'Yeah, can you make my head say Veg-UHS?!'
P.S.! In mid-October I found out he has a BABY. (It looked like he just found out, too.) Minus nine months is January…I was seeing him through all of February…huh. He had a facebook status along the lines of, “K still can’t believe he’s a dad!” and I was really tempted to say something like, “not that hard to believe, you don’t use a fuckin’ condom!” but so far I have refrained…
That thing you do
Last week I said that until he explained what happened over the summer*, I’d never really take him very seriously. When his response was to change the subject, I began writing him off [again].
Of course, that would be too easy. He called Friday night and said all the right things, the ‘Oh I wish you were here under my blanket with me because I’m cold,’ those things. ‘Let me know your schedule so I can figure out when to visit.’ I felt some of those silly little girl butterflies in the pit of my stomach.
Then came another couple days of near silence, even when I texted throughout the day, per his request Friday night. Another couple days to reflect and wonder what I was hoping to achieve by continuing to chase after a guy who seemed to like me on some level, but not enough to admit it. Just enough to tease me a little.
Nothing added up. Half his actions said he was digging me, while the other half either said I was just a friend (at best) or he was bored and I was the best [easiest?] option (at worst). Whichever it was, I was letting myself get too stressed over it.
Time to make a choice and stick to it. For once.
Last night-
Me: So, here’s the thing. You’re a pretty excellent guy and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I think at this point it would be in my best interest to not talk with you for awhile, or at least a lot less often. It’s caused me a lot of stress bc I’ve never been sure where I stood with you, but I’ve kinda liked you for awhile. I think it would be all around better to just put some distance there and try being friends again later. Hope you can understand.
Today-
Him: I don’t really understand the texts I received last night but if that’s what you want then im ok with it. you’ve got my # so just get ahold of me whenever :-)
‘yeah, it sucks that you like him … that’s really the moral of this …. cuz it sounds like he doesn’t give a shit.’
-a friend…a sentiment echoed by many, though never phrased quite so concisely as this.
*Yeah…right before I moved he started texting and talking to me again. I stayed cautious at first, but before too long, I grew too trusting. Silly me. That perhaps makes me the emotionally retarded one here.
Family Affair
391. In her dad’s eyes, until you marry her, you’re not in the picture.
-1001 Rules for my Unborn Son*
I laughed when I saw this in my Google Reader tonight, because it’s all too true in my life.
(Side note: I don’t think mothers are as prone to this mentality as fathers are. Speak up if you’ve experienced otherwise, though. I’m curious. I’d also like to get some feedback as to how guys’ parents view girlfriends.)
I remember trying to tell my father something about how awesome my boyfriend at the time was, and getting angry because my father didn’t seem to care at all – and wasn’t even willing to feign interest. After a few minutes of talking to his back as he pretended not to listen, I snapped.
‘Why don’t you care about this?!’ I burst out. ‘D is important to me! He’s a huge part of my life!’
My father finally looked at me. ‘He’s not my kid. You are. I care about you. He is not important to me.’
Harsh (and believe me, I got upset), but in light of Rule 391, it makes more sense now than it did at the time.
My father might drive me crazy [everymomentofeveryday], but I’ll be damned if I’m not Daddy’s Little Girl.
*The man behind this site actually recently learned he and his wife are expecting a daughter. The site remains brilliant regardless.
We Were In Love
Submitted by Kel
For three years, we were in love, making out, making up stories of our future together, cuddling, crying, laughing. That was eight months ago.
I finally got a hold of you last night. Working full time, looking for a house and land, you said is keeping you busy. Well, we pretty much are engaged, so she’s now under my insurance. I sighed, so much has changed, but I sure hope you still want to be friends.
“Oh, and theres something else.”
“whats that?”
“I’m going to be a dad.”
“I. am. so. happy for you. You will make an amazing father.”
(I clutched to something solid, how is life moving this fast? An instant ago, we were in love.)
Emotional Evolution
Submitted by amor
After spilling a large mug of coffee down the front of my shirt at 9:oo this morning, I noticed that one of my favorite fellow coffee drinkers was on Google Chat. I told him the sad, sad story of the epic coffee fail, and he suffered with me. After chatting for a little while about life in general, our conversation diverged to discussing the male sex and just how emotionally retarded they are.
B: yeah, that’s how guys are though, Ashley stupid STUPID!
me: I KNOW! what is with you guys, anyway????
B: one word: Testosterone
me: that is NO excuse.
B: also we’re sex hungry and afraid of limiting ourselves too early biological, etc. drive to “SPREAD the seed” means not finding one person instantly and being a love bird
me: ridiculous.
B: what kind of biodiversity would that bring?
me: I’m just saying, guys miss out on some great opportunities by being stupid.
B: no kidding
me: haha.
B: we know it too (at least eventually) but the anxiety attack is pretty strong
me: you know, b., you are pretty evolved for a guy.
B: I’ll tell you, committing to M. as only the second girl I’ve really DATED was hard I didn’t want to be out of the race so early but I used my brain and my heart to tag-team beat my primitive brain so it worked out and we’re still happy no guy screw-up but it WAS hard. in conclusion, guys are stupid, we know this, and we live with it as best we can.
I guess it’s good that at least some of them are aware of how emotionally retarded they are. Too bad more of them can’t evolve like B.*
*B recently got married, and he realizes just how lucky he is to have found his wife who is madly in love with him.
—
Editor’s note: Not the same B often referenced on this blog.
Facing the Music
Submitted by Zoe
It took me one year and three failed lunch dates because he was hungover to realize we probably weren’t right for each other. Even though he had really great taste in music.
I’ve raised my standards.
Texts of Doom
Submitted by Bethany
There were a lot of warning signs with T.
First off, the guy was only 25 and already had been grey since 13. This might just be rough genes, but I think he was just too high strung and didn’t know how to relax, causing him to go silver at a young age. The other sign, he was waaaay too into me for how little he actually knew me. Sure, it is nice to be flattered, but some compliments early on in a relationship are just too awkward for a response. How was I supposed to react when on date 1 he told me I must have amazing thighs or on date 3 when we were watching a movie for two hours and I realized he had been staring at me when he said, “You really do have amazing hair.” A nice compliment, but really awkward timing.
After 3 dates, I had to leave town for a week for work reasons. With the distance, I had time to clear my head and talk to my friends. At a dinner party, a few of them were trying to reassure me.
“He’s a photographer. Of course he is going to look at you closely. He has taken pictures of lots of famous people and he finds you beautiful. That really says a lot,” said a friend.
Still feeling unsure, but a little more at peace, I continued eating. Then, I got the first in what would be a week of awkward texts.
“So are you looking for a serious relationship right now?” sent T.
“Let’s just see how this goes,” I replied, thinking it was too soon for this talk.
“True. You still need to see how awesome I am,” he replied.
I was just learning that the guy was relationshiply bipolar and teetered from super insecure to super cocky. I thougt I was in the clear from the awkwardness, but for the next week that I was gone, he sent me constant text updates making sure I would still go out with him when I got back. I kept saying, “yes,” but with each check up, I became less sure.
One night, he sent me yet another awkward text: “I’m drinking. But I am being a good boy. Are you being a good girl?”
I was dumbfounded. Did I seem like that type of girl? And we weren’t official yet, so if I wanted to make out with some random hippie, that was totally my business. But it didn’t matter. I was working. He really should have just trusted me.
The situation just reminded me of something my mother does where she calls and accuses me of sex, drugs and alcohol abuse. I don’t need that sort of mistrust in my life.
Yet, I still tried to give him a chance. I figured he just didn’t realize how this all sounded over texts. I got back from my trip and expected a day of rest before hanging out with people. I got back and fully expected to sleep in the next day when I was awoken by more texts from T. wondering if the reason I wouldn’t hang out with him that day was because I had met somebody else. I really was just tired, but he wouldn’t believe that.
I broke. He had pushed me away with his silly text messages. So I did the only logical thing I could think of and I decided to end this over text.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can give you the attention you need from a relationship.”
I expected him to beg or get hostile or do some typical break up reaction. Instead, his response was like icing on the cake for how weird he was:
“That’s fine. I’m moving to LA now.”
I sure hope that decision wasn’t hinging on me. I later found out from a friend (a poor friend to whom he had apparently texted questions about me on a daily basis) that he had proposed to all his other girlfriends, so it is probably for the best that I got out when I did.
So, this was the odd text saga with T. He tried to ask me out again a week later, but after all that, I prefer to keep him in my life simply as an inside joke. If I or one of my friends hear something displeasing, we joke, “Ok. We’re moving to LA now.”
